Think Again by Adam Grant: 3 Takeaways
“Research reveals that the higher you score on an IQ test, the more likely you are to fall for stereotypes, because you’re faster at recognizing patterns. And recent experiments suggest that the smarter you are, the more you might struggle to update your beliefs.”
― Adam M. Grant
Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist, professor at The Wharton School, and the author of five books including Hidden Potential and Given and Take. He divides up his newest book, Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know, into two parts, each addressing different aspects of the human tendency to resist reevaluating our thoughts. In the first part, the focus is on inner conflict, where we find ourselves favoring the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt. We readily update our possessions, yet we cling to rigid beliefs, limiting our growth. Grant highlights this seizing and freezing mentality, emphasizing the importance of embracing the power of rethinking in our own lives.
The second part shifts the focus to interpersonal conflict, examining how we often hesitate to question our own knowledge and opinions. While we readily question the judgments of experts when seeking a second medical opinion, we tend to overlook the need for forming our own second opinions in other areas of life. Through a combination of engaging anecdotes and well-researched insights, Think Again provides a comprehensive exploration of the limitations we impose on ourselves and compelling reasons to break free from them.
This is a great, thought-provoking book that has plenty of valuable takeaways encouraging a more open and adaptable mindset.
3 Takeaways From Think Again
1. Houses With A Wobble: Relationship Conflict & Kids
Strong social bonds are one of the most important things we can do for our health yet we end up squandering so many of these relationships because we're not adept at handling the bumps that come along with them, more specifically, we don't know how to communicate when the going gets tough.
Our first exposure to relationship conflict occurs when we hear our parents arguing. You'd think that the more a child is exposed to arguing the more of a negative impact it has on their disposition, however, researchers have found no correlation of this to a kid's social, academic, or emotional development. It turns out that it's not how much the parents argue but how respectfully they argue.
Grant points out that,
"Kids whose parents clash constructively feel more emotionally safe in elementary school and over the next few years they actually demonstrate more helpfulness and compassion toward their classmates."
Additionally, homes "that are tense but secure" breed more creative children. This home "isn't necessarily harmonious, it has a wobble." This teaches kids to push outside of their comfort zones, not to fear conflict, and to handle the results better.
Grant has two suggestions for making sure that task conflict doesn't spill over into a relationship conflict:
"Frame it as a debate instead of an argument. Ask the other person if you can debate about the topic."
"Argue about how and not about why. When you argue why you become more attached and emotional."
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2. What The Best Negotiators Do
The logical way to gain the upper hand in a negotiation is to have the best data, more of it, and smother your counterpart with it. This would work if we were robots, but humans are too emotional for this approach. The best negotiating strategies, Grant derived from expert debaters, tend to use counterintuitive approaches.
The best negotiators presented fewer reasons. They didn't want to water down their best points with weaker points which would dilute the strength of the argument. This also prevents someone from disarming your weakest argument which would then provide grounds for a "loss."
Start an interview or debate by acknowledging your weaknesses. This allows humility and transparency which is much more respected than bragging or humble bragging.
Limit the amount of times you go on the offense or on the defense. Instead, use curiosity in your approach, "So you don't see any merit in this proposal at all?" In tennis terms, keep the ball in play and allow them to make the error.
In studying expert negotiators, it was determined that for every five comments the expert made, at least one ended in a question. "They led by letting their partner step forward."
Always have the conversation in person. In a meta-analysis of 500 studies and a quarter of a million participants, the use of intergroup communication decreased prejudice of another group 94% of the time.
If the negotiation starts getting hot or going off the rails then ask, "What evidence would change your mind?" If you're getting blank stares then it's pointless to continue. As Grant says, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it to think."
3. Confident Humility And The Case Against Valedictorians
Perfectionists, known for their exceptional grades and overall excellence in school, thrive within the structured and predictable academic environment. However, when they transition into the real world and face professional challenges, their performance is no more impressive than that of their peers. They tend to be the valedictorians in school but lack the ability to be a visionary who "shakes things up." Grades, it turns out, are not a strong predictor of job performance across all types of industries. For example, researchers found that the average grade for the most creative engineers was a B.
Grant argues that instead of fitting this mold of striving for the correct answer all of the time, embrace confusion. He weaves the theme of "confident humility" throughout the book which he describes as "having faith in our capability while appreciating that we may not have the right solution or even be addressing the right problem." It's a healthy dose of doubt and faith. Use phrases like, "I would love to hear why...," "Have you considered....," and "I think..."
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