October 2024
My 20-Year High School Reunion
"Reunions are a reminder that no matter how much you think you've changed, you're still the same person you were in high school."
—Unknown
A few weeks ago, I attended my 20th high school reunion at St. Joe’s Prep in Philly. Those four years in high school were some of the most transformative of my life. The Prep pushed me to new points, instilling lifelong skills like time management skills and a solid work ethic, and introducing me to some of my closest friends. While I could write a book about it, today, I’ll limit this post to the reunion itself and what I’ve learned from that night:
No one cares about your job. Out of all the conversations I had, what we spend most of our waking hours doing—our job—barely surfaced. It can shape who we are if we let it. It can be a source of pride or stress, but at the end of the day, no one really wants to talk about it. When choosing a career, make sure your decision isn’t based on “I can’t wait to impress others by being a ____.” Choose your career path for yourself only.
Small talk is unavoidable, but being good at it gives you an edge. Anytime you're in a large group or meeting people after a long gap, small talk is part of the territory. Few enjoy it, but it’s necessary. Those who can navigate it well—and those who stumble through—are the ones people remember.
Perspective changes everything. When I was 18, my grades, my rowing times, and the opinions of others seemed so important. In hindsight, those things feel insignificant now. So, what am I focused on today that won’t matter in 20 years? It’s a question worth asking as time puts everything into a different light.
Your daily habits show up on your face after 20 years. Back at 18, everyone looked roughly the same. By 25, some differences creep in, but it's around 30 when those differences really set in. Healthy and unhealthy habits begin to leave their mark, and nothing reveals this more than seeing old friends after years apart. The choices you make daily are written on your face.
Everyone has a story. As an OT, I’ve spent countless hours with patients, and I’ve come to realize that everyone—no matter how unassuming—has a unique and fascinating story. It’s not something you discover quickly; it often takes weeks or months to truly uncover. But once you do, it’s always worth the effort. Listening deeply and asking the right questions is an art. Don’t underestimate your own story either—it’s more compelling than you think.
Insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet. The people who have truly "made it" in life—however you define that—aren't the ones broadcasting it. They don’t need to constantly remind you of their success because they’re secure in themselves. Confidence is knowing who you are and letting your actions do the talking. Those who are truly thriving ask about you, listen more than they speak, and don’t dominate conversations with their achievements.
Shared struggle for a common purpose creates the strongest bonds. I once heard that high-level athletes and military veterans miss most not the accolades or the intensity, but the camaraderie—working alongside others who embraced the grind toward a shared goal. While we weren’t Navy SEALs jumping into freezing water from helicopters, we did share challenges. Everyone in our class faced an academically rigorous curriculum, we often traveled relatively long distances to get to and from school each day, and for those of us in sports, we often competed at a very high level. Furthermore, our class size was only 250, relatively small for a high school, and not too much higher than Dunbar’s Number—the approximate limit of meaningful connections one person can maintain, about 150. I believe this is one of the reasons that sets The Prep’s brotherhood apart from other schools. Pushing through challenges and coming out stronger, with the support of others, creates a bond like no other.
Brian ‘04
The Growth Kit (Podcast)
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From the Archives
Best of the Month
Quote: "If it costs you your peace, it's too expensive." -Paulo Coelho
Podcast: Why More Will Never Make You Happy with Arthur Brooks by The Kevin Rose Show
Book: Tribe by Sebastian Junger
Product: David Protein Bars (28g protein, 2 net carbs, 150 calories, & no artificial sweeteners, gluten, or digestible seed oils!)
Things I’ve Learned
Mind
How Far Athletes Would Go to Win
Over 50% of aspiring athletes say they’d take a drug that guarantees death within five years if it meant winning every competition. Similarly, 14% of elite performers would risk developing a fatal heart condition just for the chance to secure an Olympic gold medal.
What’s Hot, What’s Not
An article on the most and least attractive traits in men. Unsurprisingly, athletic hobbies rank high, with swimming at the top. Golf, however, is rated the least attractive possibly because of how much time it consumes. Boxing and MMA also rank lower, likely due to their association with aggression rather than protection from an evolutionary perspective.
Underrated Reasons to be Thankful
A very random list of things to be thankful for. One example:
”That while most of us spend lots of time worrying about what others think of us and trying to mold ourselves to make others like us more, it seems like authenticity and even vulnerability are among the most appealing traits provided you can do them without coming off as needy, which, to be fair, is tricky.”
Body
IBS/IBD Breakthroughs
I came across two interesting studies on Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS):
People with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) were found to have 50% more microplastics in their stool than healthy individuals, with more severe cases showing higher levels. While animal studies suggest microplastics may contribute to intestinal inflammation, this is the first study on humans to do so.
A Lund University study found that reducing starch and sugar intake (SSRD) may be as effective as the low FODMAP diet for IBS. Both diets improved symptoms in 75-80% of participants, but SSRD led to more weight loss and reduced sugar cravings, potentially making it easier for long-term adherence.
I just finished the instant hit book Good Energy. I highly recommend checking it out in general but also for those who have IBS as a practical way to help manage the condition.
Which Fitness Traits are Genetic?
A study published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise revealed that flexibility is the fitness domain most influenced by genetics and jumping power is least associated. Researchers examined 198 pairs of twins, 78 identical and 120 fraternal, aged 6 to 18, using 15 fitness tests. The sit-and-reach test showed a strong genetic influence while other tests, such as handgrip strength and aerobic endurance, were found to be more influenced by unique environmental factors, such as personal experiences and training, rather than genetics. While certain fitness traits seem to be heavily inherited others are more trainable through life experiences.
Poor Diet = Poor Health Outcomes
Here is a bunch of recent research related to nutrition and our health:
One study found that better diet quality and higher intake of antioxidants or anti-inflammatory nutrients were linked to a younger epigenetic age, while higher added sugar intake was associated with an older epigenetic age.
This study evaluated the link between pesticide use and cancer risk across the U.S. population. Results showed that pesticide exposure was significantly associated with increased risk for multiple cancers, including leukemia, non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and pancreatic cancer, with some risks comparable to smoking-related cancers. Check out my book on when to buy organic and what to avoid.
This meta-analysis of 24 studies with over 1 million participants found that higher intake of citrus, apples, watermelon, and kiwi was linked to a reduced risk of colorectal cancer, with risk reductions ranging from 9% to 26%. Citrus intake showed a nonlinear dose-response relationship, with the greatest protective effect observed at around 120 grams per day (equivalent to about one serving of fruit).
This cross-sectional study of 10,255 adults shows that higher intake of ultra-processed foods is associated with a 60% increased risk of low muscle mass, even after adjusting for confounding factors.
Dad
The Monkey Bars
A great paper in Evolution, Medicine, and Public Health on the significance of "risky play," particularly through monkey bars. While some call for their removal due to injury concerns, the authors argue that children's natural inclination to engage in such play is rooted in our evolutionary history. Juvenile non-human primates, for instance, climb and swing far more than adults, helping them develop essential physical and cognitive skills. Though monkey bars are linked to about 7% of childhood arm fractures in the U.S., the benefits—like improved risk assessment, emotional resilience, and physical capabilities—outweigh the risks. Engaging in thrill-seeking activities fosters confidence and coping skills while promoting better motor skills and bone health. My vote: keep the monkey bars.
(Coincidentally, I bought my kids a gymnastics bar with rings a couple of weeks ago for similar benefits.)
10 Tips for How To Handle Devices and Screens
Tips from After Babel by Catherine Price. Here are a few:
Tip 3. Only allow devices and screens (including the television) to be used in public places in your house.
Tip 5. Create a central charging station for devices (not in a bedroom)
Tip 9. Learn about and activate parental controls for every device and app your child us
Surgeon General Warning about Parenting
The latest Surgeon General advisory highlights the intense stress burden parents face today. According to 2023 data, 48% of parents report feeling overwhelmingly stressed most days—almost double the rate of non-parents. Financial strain, time demands, concerns for children's health and safety, and the pressures of modern technology are common stressors. Mental health challenges are especially pronounced among parents dealing with poverty, discrimination, and community violence. The Surgeon General emphasizes that parenting is not only vital to the well-being of children but is also essential to the health and future of society itself.
I've highlighted some of the most interesting suggestions:
Communities & Schools: Foster open dialogue about parental stress, mental health, and well-being in culturally appropriate ways.
Health Professionals: Screen parents and caregivers for mental health conditions.
Researchers: Develop and establish parent-specific standardized measures of mental health and well-being.
Family & Friends: Reach out and offer practical support with household or everyday tasks.
Parents & Caregivers: Nurture connections with other parents and caregivers.
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