Oh Crap! Potty Training: 3 Takeaways
"If you partake in alcohol, please have some wine at the end of this day. It is also acceptable to have wine in your cereal when potty training. You deserve it."
—Jamie Glowacki
We did everything wrong. We bought a fancy toilet (firetruck style of course), we had it out for months ahead of time, we waited for our son to show signs, and after our feeble attempt at potty training more or less failed, we became too instructive which backfired into a fear of using the potty.
What we thought was an appropriate and gentle yet positive potty training approach turned out to be a disaster. So, I read Oh Crap! Potty Training and then we did a lot of things differently. If I had used this giant instructional manual ahead of time things may have been different but once we started using it, the potty training approach was much, much smoother.
Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki provides a comprehensive and easy-to-follow guide to potty training your child. Here is the description:
”Her 6-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself:
** How do I know if my kid is ready?
** Why won’t my child poop in the potty?
** How do I avoid “potty power struggles”?
** How can I get their daycare provider on board?
** My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing?
** And what about nighttime?!
Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues.”
The book hits on any potty-related topic you can think of.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has kids heading down this potty-training adventure. In fact, I’m whipping it out again as we embark on this journey with our daughter in the near future.
3 Takeaways From Oh Crap! Potty Training
1. Planning The Big Day
Pick a Date: It can be whenever as long as you allow 3-4 days where one parent can focus on potty training. Holiday breaks are great. “Set your date and luxuriate in diapers for those two weeks leading up to it,” Glowacki writes. She recommends setting a date out about 2 weeks ahead of time to allow you to mentally prepare.
Hide the Potty Chair: Don’t let your kid use or even see the potty chair until the start date. If it’s already been out then hide it. If it’s used for things other than peeing and pooping it diminishes the success. Also, don't let your child pick one with fancy features; a simple model like the Baby Bjorn potty chair is recommended.
Clear Your Calendar: Block out a week from the chosen start date, with the first few days dedicated to staying at home and gradually resuming outings afterward. This dedicated week minimizes stress and interruptions, making the potty training transition smoother.
Prepare for Diaper Farewell: About a week before the chosen start date, have a conversation with your child about parting ways with diapers. Approach this discussion with a calm and reassuring tone. Include "grown-up" conversations, emphasizing the new abilities and responsibilities they have as they transition from being a baby to a big boy or girl. This helps prepare them for this developmental milestone.
2. The Big Day
Glowacki does a great job of highlighting the detailed and recommended steps for the different stages: the preparation, the act, and the aftermath. For this, I highly recommend that you buy the book but I’ll give a brief summary of the big talk ahead of time and then some strategies and approaches for the aftermath.
The Pump Up Speech
The day you started, say something along the lines of "Today you're going to be a Big Girl and put your pee and poop in the potty. I'm going to teach you and help you earn this. Yay, it's very fun!" Make it sound cool and encouraging like you're trying to get the kid to like the dentist. Keep it clear, succinct, and direct. Don't ask anything. Don't give the opportunity for her to say no.
The Aftermath
Once they use the putty, have them dump it out in the toilet afterward. They’ll love this.
Talk about the connection between their belly feeling good after their first big poop. Keep it lively by using words like “Huge,” “Tons,” “Wow,” “My goodness” and any adjective that you can put an exclamation point afterward.
If you’re anxious then they’ll be anxious which will make them hold the poop in longer.
Also, remember that “Most children can go longer than you would think without a poop before most pediatricians would even blink.”
If they miss their target then chalk it up to a learning experience. Don’t scold them. Instead, have them help you clean up the pee or poop. Use a phrase like “You're learning. Next time your poop goes in the potty.”
Nap time instructions: "I'm going to put a diaper on you for nap. Because you're still learning. You did such a great job today and your nap is a long time. You may not remember to pee when you're sleeping. When you wake up we're going to take it off."
3. Potty Training Myths And Misconceptions
The third chapter is dedicated to dispelling myths and misconceptions about potty training. I was surprised by many of them. Here are some:
Is it best to wait until my child gives me signals? False. All your child has ever known is diapers so don’t wait for the signs.
Boys are harder to train than girls are. False. Glowacki says that people often point to the fact that girls mature faster than boys but this logic is more evident in preteen years and not at two years old. She writes, If anything, I think boys are easier to train than girls. They can go anywhere. Need to pee in the parking lot? Just pull down the pants and pee on the tire.”
It takes 3 days to train a child to potty train. “The magical 3-day training is not necessarily true. For some kids, it takes one day and for others, it takes 70.”
Bonus: The Importance Of Dressing
This isn't a huge part of the book but, as an OT, I like the suggestions she provides.
Before beginning the first phase of potty training you want your kid to be able to dress herself which will help smooth the process and ease anxiety.
Here are some tips:
Instead of "pull" your pants down (which is understandably confusing, say "push" your pants down.
Describe the technique you're using as you're dressing them. Instead of "I'm getting you dressed," be more specific. I'm holding on to the waistband and pulling your pants above your hips."
Have a dressing party. Kids get dressed and undressed when they're most tired and they don't get much repetition when this does happen. Solve both of these issues by having dressing parties like you would have a dress-up party. Try on a ton of clothes, costumes, etc. in order to get the practice in a fun way.
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