Mastering Fatherhood: 38 Essential Tips For New Dads
Becoming a new dad is an exciting and transformative experience, but it can also bring a wave of uncertainty and questions. As you embark on this journey, arming yourself with essential tips can help you navigate the challenges and joys of fatherhood with more confidence.
In this article, I’ll provide invaluable advice and insights specifically tailored for new dads. From microworkouts to mushroom coffee to the importance of moving the router and not wiping your child’s face, I’ll cover a range of tips for new dads to support you in this incredible chapter of life.
Tips For New Dads
Strengthen your lower back. With significantly more sitting than usual, on top of lots of bending over that bassinet, my back was feeling it in just a couple of weeks of having our first child. For my second kid, I was eager to avoid that same mistake so I did this 12-minute Foundation Training video 3-4 times a week for the 2 months leading up to the big day (the book is good too). A standing desk helped too.
Learn how to swaddle. It’s not difficult but it’s worth the practice ahead of time for those late nights when your kid got out of it 4 times in a row. Instructional video here.
Get a One Line A Day Journal. You'll hear the phrase, "The days are long but the years are short" about a billion times. It’s annoying but true so write down the best moments in a journal like this.
1 Second Everyday. Just like the journal, this is another commitment where consistency is needed. 1 Second Everyday is an app that lets you take a picture or video a day and then compiles it into a slideshow-style video. I did this through my wife’s first pregnancy and then again for my son’s first year of life and it turned out awesome.
Get your baby outside. Take advantage of their portability for both of your sakes. I often carried my baby for miles on morning and evening walks. It was calming for both of us and allowed my wife to get rest.
Make meals ahead of time. In the weeks leading up to our kids (and even the week I had off with them) I was putting together a ton of make-ahead meals. It was a great backup for those chaotic nights. Paleo Running Momma has a good page of healthy freezable meals to get your wheels turning.
Learn how to take pictures. Everyone has a phone and, therefore, the ability to take pictures, however, very few take good pictures. Your baby is a baby for a very short time so take advantage of it by capturing great shots that your great great great great grandkids can marvel at. I took a free course during a COVID quarantine which was quick and really helpful. You can take a free one online from Udemy or Coursera.
Be extra patient and supportive of your partner. She did the hardest work of her life and you both equally reap the rewards. Her body is still recovering, her hormones are off the charts, and there’s a good chance her mental health is taking a hit. Be there for them and say "I understand" more and "not uh" less.
Master microworkouts. Squeezing in a workout falls in the “luxury” column at this point. But just because it got bumped down on that priority list doesn’t mean you can’t still stay fit. A kettlebell, pull bar, and resistance bands go a long way. See this article from Mark’s Daily Apple on how to use them to your advantage.
Mushroom coffee. Remember those days when you could sleep in on the weekend? While they’re a long ways a way, I found a great way to remedy it: mushroom coffee. At first, I was just slugging coffee after coffee to get through work but it was killing my deep sleep and I was getting jittery and couldn’t focus well. I started to put a pack of the Four Sigmatic Lion’s Mane “Think” packets into my morning coffee and it was a game changer.
Communicate obsessively. Regardless of how far into the fatherhood journey you are, there are going to be many obstacles: logistics, planning, fatigue, mishaps, frustration, confusion, and assumptions. If communication isn’t your strong suit (hey guys) then make a point to communicate obsessively. Even if you think you said it already, even if you assume she knows it, even if it might not matter, say it. Tone is important too. Say it in a helpful, productive, non-judgmental way. Make your inner voice your outer voice (with a filter) to help things run smoothly.
Organize those clothes. We had so many onesies that my kids didn’t even get to wear them all because he were growing too fast (tip: if you give clothes as a gift to friends and family who just had a baby, give them in the 6-9 month range). As they grow out of them, start a system to organize them by age and season into bins. Whether you donate them, sell them, or store them for the next baby, you’ll thank yourself down the road.
Thank your dad. We never realize how much was done for us until we’re in that experience itself. Write a thank you letter to your dad. It doesn’t have to be long or sobby but it should be genuine.
Look into a sleep training course. In no time you’ll go down the sleep training road. Check out the article below to see the data on the best methods of sleep training, and consider a course such as the ultra-popular (and effective in my experience) Taking Cara Babies.
Don’t bathe your kid too often. Today’s society lumps dirt, germs, and bacteria into one big “gross” column but there are many benefits. This tends to be a tough concept to grasp for new parents (or maybe just modern parents). Shoot for 3 baths a week at the max.
Focus on the older one. If you’ve got more than this baby and they’re both screaming at the same time, go to the older one first. As far as we know, this will have a larger impact on the older child (given their more developed frontal lobe and longer memory). The caveat, of course, is that you prioritize safety (e.g. go to the kid holding the sharp thing first).
Practice earthing. Strap in because this might sound a little woo woo: start a habit of earthing. Earthing, also known as grounding, is getting your skin (typically bare feet) to the ground (grass, sand, dirt, or rock). Research has shown that it’s effective in reducing inflammation and improving sleep and it can improve heart rate variability (HRV) and reduce stress. It’s as simple as spending 20 minutes outside with your kids with your shoes off. Take your kid(s) to a park or your backyard, kick your shoes off, and spend at least 20 minutes here. It’s tougher for me to do this in the winter time so I bought a grounding mat to stand on when I write. Learn more about the benefits and how to do it in this article.
Put your phone in a different room as soon as you come home. Turns out that the average parent’s face-to-face time with the kids per week is 5 hours! When you walk in the door each night (and in the mornings on weekends), put your phone on airplane mode or silent and far away from you. Don’t keep it in your pocket and don’t keep it within viewing distance. Spend face-to-face time with your kids. Don’t worry, you won’t die.
Avoid toxins. Water is to fish as toxins are to humans. Once you become aware of the toxins in your environment you’ll be amazed. Your baby is extremely susceptible to these toxins but, fortunately, there are some easy steps to limit your exposure. See this article for the 8 most common toxins, their effects, and simple strategies to avoid them.
Use your baby carrier often. Your baby carrier is one of the best multi-tasking tools you have. Strap the baby in and go for that walk, get some housework done, or even do some Babywearing Mummy Yoga (looked it up on a whim and, yup, it’s a thing).
Be aware of de Quervain’s. De Quervain's tenosynovitis, a.k.a. mother’s wrist, is one of the most common injuries that new parents experience. Pain, swelling, and/or “sticking” or “stop-and-go” sensations occur at the base of the thumb where 2 main tendons of the thumb (the abductor pollicis longus (APL) and the extensor pollicis brevis (EPB)) due to excessive up and down movements of the thumb from constantly lifting your baby. Use the Finkelstein test to know if you have it for sure. The best course of action is to stop using it (but that’s not going to happen) so talk to your doctor about an anti-inflammatory like turmeric and use a wrist support to prevent further issues.
Learn CPR. If you haven’t done so yet, take a CPR course stat. Get everyone who cares for your baby together and learn. The Red Cross has a First Aid/CPR/AED course here.
Stay ahead of it. Get your kid’s clothes out the night before, always have the diaper bag stocked (and replenished after outings), know what you’re eating at the next meal and the next day, pack the car with essentials the night before or before they’re up, pack their school lunch the night before. Plan ahead to avoid stress and improve efficiency.
Make a sensory board. A sensory board is a great way to entertain your 6-month-old, encourage sitting, challenge problem-solving, and expose him to a variety of textures and materials. Simply grab a large piece of particle board at the hardware store, sand it, paint it, and make it fun. I had my son paint his board with me and he helped me pick some things out too. A toilet paper holder, a latch, wheels, and some free rug samples can go a long way. Angle it at a wall, stabilize it, complete.
Teach sign language. While babies won’t be able to express themselves verbally for many months from now, they can start to learn sign language as early as 6 months. Benefits include improved behavior, mood, and they may even be able to speak sooner. Start with simple signs at meal times like “more,” “milk,” and “done.” See Today’s Parent for visuals.
Baby swim lessons. It’s around the 6-month mark that a lot of places allow babies to start swim lessons. These Sunday mornings were awesome. Aside from the benefits of bonding, swim lessons can reduce the risk of a fear of water and pools, reduce the risk of drowning, and improve strength, confidence, and gross motor coordination. It’s even been shown to improve cognitive functioning.
Move your router. The electromagnetic field (EMF) radiation shooting out of devices like your phone is powerful when close up but the most powerful device in the home tends to be the router which tends to sit near the TV. If you haven’t done so yet, move the router to the place in the home that’s furthest from your child’s primary area of play and sleep. Babies’ brains are extremely susceptible to radiation given their thin skulls. That router position is a high-risk/low-reward situation now that you know the potential consequences.
Leave work at work. When you come through the door each night, compartmentalize any issues you had at work. Leave the stress, the looming deadlines and deals, and even the work fatigue outside the door. When you step inside, put your phone away and dedicate those remaining minutes of the night your family.
Have regular family dinners. This was a very memorable and important part of my upbringing and it’s something I was eager to bring to my kid’s routine. Some dinners are emotional, most dinners are a bit crazy, but every dinner is our family’s fingerprint. According to The Family Dinner Project, there are significant benefits associated with regular family dinners including better academic performance, lower risk of substance abuse, depression, and improved vocabulary to name some. In the book, The Secret of Happy Families, the author found that family dinners are the “largest predictor of school success and a decrease in behavioral issues.”
Start an annual photo book. I got this idea from the Wellness Mama before my first kid. In the months leading up to Christmas, I use Shutterfly to create a big photo book of my favorite pictures commemorating the year for each of my kids. I write a personal note on the inside of the cover and then on Christmas morning we open it and reflect on the year together.
It takes a bit of time—especially if you have a tough time cutting down the total number of pictures like me—so start this early. Make the tradition for Christmas, their birthday, or another important day. With my kids so young, it’s already nice to be able able to go back and see our favorite days together and how much they’ve changed.
Don’t wipe your kid’s mouth while they’re eating. Your kid is going to get messy when they eat and they’re not going to care. When you wipe their mouth between bites they will hate it and they will start to care, associating the mood with the food itself. This means you’re involuntarily conditioning your child to dislike eating with you, eating certain foods, and/or eating. Not wiping their mouth also gives them feedback as to when they’ve missed the mouth and prevents tactile defensiveness down the road. Let them get messy. See this Baby Pillars article for a deeper dive.
Make a healthy smash cake. It seems like it’s a ritual into toddler-hood to have your baby do a “smash cake” in a high chair surrounded by a giggling adults with a multi-colored balloon arch in the background. So introduce your baby into this new world with a cake void of excessive sugars, artificial dyes, and seed oils. See a good list of healthy smash cakes from Mama Natural and Tales of a Messy Mom (and don’t forget the cake topper).
Reverse the sleep sack. If your baby isn’t trying to get out of her crib (and her sleep sack) yet, she probably will eventually. When that time comes, reverse the sleep sack so that the zipper is in the back. This worked wonders for us.
Wrestle. Start roughhousing, wrestling, rolling around, and doing any other gentle physical activity on the floor that you can think of. Doing this has significant benefits including teaching your child boundaries, improving social and emotional intelligence, helping to manage impulses, regulating emotions, and, of course, bonding. Take turns “winning” and avoid terms you wouldn’t want your child using at school such as “fighting.”
Start rituals. Rituals allow consistency and predictability for your child and foster bonding. It doesn’t have to have a big build-up with an intricate display. We have a bunch of very simple rituals such as wrestling matches, family meals, practicing gratitude at dinner, a secret handshake and a hug before school, weekend picnics in the living room, and bacon and egg breakfast on Saturday mornings. Other ideas are kids-pick-dinner night, new food night, weekly or monthly nature hikes, and the rose, bud, thorn exercise on the way home from school. The most important parts are consistency and your child’s involvement.
Rotate toys. Every 1-2 months rotate your child’s toys. Take a box of toys that your child hasn’t relegated to the far corners of the couch yet and put it in a separate location he can’t access. Replace those toys with a separate box you used a month or two ago. Every time we do this a beam of nostalgia and excitement hits my son’s face that wouldn’t have been there if the toys were all sprawled out. It’s a regular mini Christmas/Birthday. (Also make sure to put a few new ones in the diaper bag for game-saving situations.)
Lunch productivity hack. Making lunches the night before is crucial for a more seamless morning but making them days ahead of time is a game changer. I pack the silicone cupcake liners with food they’ll have in the upcoming days (e.g. carrots, peppers, berries, etc.) and then I put them in a cupcake carrying dish with a cover in the fridge.
Don't compare your baby to others (most of the time). Humans develop but they don’t always develop linearly. Some have quicker developments in the obvious areas you tend to hear beaming parents humble brag about (walking, talking, getting out of the crib) while others have less obvious developments (problem-solving abilities, visual processing skills, fine motor coordination, comprehension). Still, others are just slower to develop. And it’s all okay as long as there is development. Refrain from the natural tendency to compare your child to others unless there is a stark contrast in which case you should talk to your pediatrician.
Got any good dad tips or hacks? Add them to the comment section.
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