Newborns: Milestones, Activities, Gear, Dad Tips, & More
Congratulations! That little human finally made it out into the world and now fatherhood is in full swing. What the heck do you do now?
Each time that my wife was pregnant, I was excited to finally be a hands-on dad but I still had concerns. As an occupational therapist, I generally knew what to expect from the standpoint of newborn milestones, developmental progress, etc. but I was still constantly searching for the specifics and any additional tips for dads who were in my position.
So as someone who loves to plan, I created this guide to pull all of the most important information together for anyone who wants a quick reference. It’s what I wished I had when my kids were born.
Got questions on things I didn’t touch on? Put them in the comments and I’ll get back to you.
Newborn Milestones
Lifting their head while on their stomach
Making cooing noises
Following objects with their eyes
Grasping objects with their hands
Reaching for objects and grasping toys
Beginning to form attachments with caregivers and show emotions such as happiness, sadness, and frustration.
Sensory Skills
Newborns are born with a highly developed sense of touch and are sensitive to temperature, pain, and pleasure. They can also hear, see, and smell, although their senses are not fully developed at birth. They become more sensitive to stimuli and are able to process and integrate sensory information more efficiently.
Touch: Newborns are highly sensitive to touch and are able to feel different textures and temperatures.
Sight: Newborns can see, but their vision is not fully developed at birth. They can focus on objects about 8-12 inches away and are attracted to high-contrast patterns and shapes.
Hearing: Newborns are able to hear and respond to sounds, including voices and music. They are particularly attuned to the sound of their mother's voice.
Smell: Newborns are able to smell and are attracted to the scent of their mother's milk. They have a clear preference for sweet smells over sour or bitter smells.
Reflexes
Newborns have a number of reflexes, which are automatic responses to certain stimuli. These reflexes are present at birth and help to protect and support the newborn as they adjust to life outside the womb. Here are some common newborn reflexes:
Rooting reflex: When a newborn's cheek is touched, they will turn their head and open their mouth as if to start breastfeeding. This reflex helps newborns to find and latch onto their mother's breast for feeding.
Sucking reflex: When a newborn's lips are touched or a nipple is placed in their mouth, they will start to suck. This reflex helps newborns to feed and get the nutrition they need.
Grasp reflex: When an object is placed in a newborn's hand, they will grasp it tightly. This reflex helps newborns to hold onto objects and eventually learn to use their hands.
Moro reflex: When newborns feel like they are falling or are startled, they will throw their arms out to the sides and cry. This reflex helps newborns to protect themselves and to alert their caregivers if they are in danger.
Tonic neck reflex: When a newborn's head is turned to one side, their arm and leg on the same side will straighten out and the arm and leg on the opposite side will bend. This reflex helps newborns to develop their neck muscles and to learn to control their movements.
Stepping reflex: When a newborn is held upright with their feet touching a flat surface, they will move their feet as if they are walking. This reflex disappears after a few months.
Activities To Help Your Child Thrive
Tummy time: Laying your baby on their stomach while they are awake can help them develop their neck muscles and improve their ability to lift their head. Shoot for 3 times a day for 2-3 minutes at a time and then gradually increase this.
Read to your baby: It might sound too early to start this but go ahead and pick up that book. Reading helps with bonding, lowers stress, and improves language. Research shows that reading to preterm infants in the NICU improved language development compared to those who were not read books (and it improved the parent’s ability to “cope with a difficult experience."). Here is a list of book recommendations from an OT perspective.
Food
Consume about 1.5-3 ounces of formula or breast milk per feed.
Eat about 8-12 times per day.
Bottle nipple size: Preemie flow or Level 1 (based on the Dr. Brown bottles).
It's important to remember that newborns have small stomachs and will need to eat frequently. Be sure to feed your baby whenever they show signs of hunger, such as rooting or sucking on their hands. It's also important to follow your healthcare provider's recommendations for feeding and schedule. If you have any concerns about your baby's feeding or sleep, it's always a good idea to consult with a healthcare professional.
Sleep
Typical sleep total per day: 16-17 hours.
Newborns will usually take several naps throughout the day, totaling about 3-4 hours.
Have them sleep on their back. This is the single most important thing you can do for your child to prevent SIDS.
Red Flags
It’s important to note that babies develop at different paces. If you’re not seeing these newborn milestones, reflexes, or patterns with sleep or food then talk to your pediatrician.
Stuff
Toys (with a purpose)
A list of toys recommended by an occupational therapist to help your newborn’s development.
Montessori Mama Sensory Toys Baby Teething Toys & Baby Rattle
Manhattan Toy Skwish Natural Rattle and Teether Grasping Activity Toy
Silicone Chewable Rings with Organic Wooden, Natural Wooden Ring
Gear (that you actually need)
I’m assuming you’ve got the car seat, crib, stroller, and other essentials. Here are some of the other things that we used a lot that first month.
Genexa infant acetaminophen. You probably don’t need it now but have this healthier alternative on hand for when you do.
NoseFrida. Gross? Yup. Worth it? Yup.
Baby swing. This helped tremendously with our second child who had a long bout of colic.
Sound machine. Opt for a low-tech one that doesn’t have EMF (e.g. Wifi) radiation.
Baby light bulbs like these or these. Read this article for a deep dive into why this is important.
Basnniet with a cover. If you have 2 curious cats like us, getting a bassinet with a canopy over top will give you some peace of mind that the cats won’t try to hang out with your newborn.
Nontoxic Gear
Flame retardant chemicals can be toxic and 83% of car seats contain flame retardants
Avoid toxins such as polyurethane foam, PVC, and PFAS (more on toxins here)
Nontoxic car seat (no polyurethane or flame retardants):
Clek Liing Infant Car Seat (Mammoth color only; others contain flame retardants)
Nontoxic stroller (no polyurethane or flame retardants):
Dads
“The nature of impending fatherhood is that you are doing something that you’re unqualified to do, and then you become qualified while doing it.”
–John Green
Dad Focus
Sleep. This will be the most your kid ever sleeps in their life. Take advantage of it. You’ll probably still be getting up at night often which inhibits your deep sleep. While you have some time off from work, coordinate nap times with your partner while you can.
Related:
Dad Tips
Strengthen your lower back. With way more sitting than usual, on top of lots of awkward bending over that bassinet, my back felt it just a couple of weeks in. For my second kid, I was eager to avoid that same mistake so I did this 12-minute Foundation Training video 3-4 times a week for the 2 months leading up to the big day (the book is good too). I also got a standing desk which helped tremendously.
Learn how to swaddle. It’s not tough but it’s worth the practice ahead of time for those late nights when your kid got out of it 4 times in a row. Instructional video here.
Get a One Line A Day Journal. You'll hear the phrase, "the days are long but the years are short" about a billion times. It’s annoying but true so write down the best moments in a journal like this.
1 Second Everyday. Just like the journal, this is another commitment if you decide to pull the trigger. 1 Second Everyday is an app that lets you take a picture or video a day and then compiles it once you’re finished. I did this through my wife’s first pregnancy and it turned out awesome.
Get your baby outside. Take advantage of their portability for both of your sakes. I carried my baby for miles on morning and evening walks often. It was calming for both of us and allowed my wife to get rest.
Make meals ahead of time. In the weeks leading up to our kids (and even the week I had off with them) I was putting together a ton of make-ahead meals. It was a great backup for those chaotic nights.
Recommendations
Article:
Newborn Sleep Tips: 8 Strategies to Turn Moments of Hell into Positive Parenting (MindBodyDad)
How to Fight the Tired Parent Syndrome (Nerd Fitness)
New Mother’s Sleep Loss Linked to 3-7 Years Accelerated Aging (Unless you sleep 7+ hours/night at 6-month mark post-birth then you’re okay)
Podcast Episode:
Why Fathers Matter With Paul Raeburn (Art of Manliness)
Nursery Rhymes (Twenty Thousand Hertz)
Book:
Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool by Emily Oster
Live it up with your newborn. You can’t give them too much love and affection so smother them in it. Celebrate the newborn milestones, ups and downs, and life as a dad.
Got any suggestions that worked for you and your baby at this age? Leave them in the comment section.
