4-Month-Old: Milestones, Activities, Gear, Dad Tips, & More
Here’s a comprehensive guide to 4-month-old milestones, activities to do with your baby, what to expect with food and sleep, recommendations for toys and gear, ways to master being a dad, and more.
4-Month-Old Milestones
Lifts head and chest while lying on stomach
Holds head fully upright for a few seconds
Lays on back and rolls to the side and then “get stuck” there
Reaches for objects with hands
Brings hands to mouth
Makes cooing and gurgling sounds
Makes different facial expressions
Displays personality and individuality
Reflexes
Your baby has a whole slew of new reflexes that you get to test out with her.
Symmetric tonic neck reflex (STNR): The STNR, also known as the "fencing reflex," is elicited when the baby's head is turned to one side. The arm on the side that the head is turned towards will extend, while the arm on the opposite side will flex. This reflex is important for developing hand-eye coordination and helps the baby learn to focus their eyes on objects.
Landau reflex: The Landau reflex is elicited when the baby is held in a prone (face down) position. The reflex causes the baby to lift their head and chest off the ground and kick their legs. This reflex helps to strengthen the muscles of the neck, trunk, and limbs.
Neck righting (NOB): The neck righting reflex is elicited when the baby's head is tilted backwards. The reflex causes the baby to extend their neck and move their head back to a neutral position. This reflex helps to develop neck control and stability.
Body righting (BOB): The body righting reflex is elicited when the baby is tilted or rotated from an upright position. The reflex causes the baby to move their arms and legs in a way that helps to bring their body back to a stable position. This reflex helps to develop balance and coordination.
Downward parachute: The downward parachute reflex is elicited when the baby is held in a prone (face down) position and then gently lowered. The reflex causes the baby to extend their arms and legs as if they are "parachuting" down. This reflex helps to develop coordination and balance.
Activities To Help Your Child Thrive
Bubbles. Challenge your baby’s visual skills and their new reaching abilities by having them pop bubbles you blow for them. Lie them on their back or put them in a supported sitting position as they do this.
Visual sensory bottle. Mix water with oil, soap, or syrup, throw a few things that can float around in there and you’ve got a toy that can entertain a kid for a long time. See the Hellobee site for ways to make 5 unique sensory bottle.
Mirror play. Babies love mirrors. As they lie on their back, put it to the side of your child to encourage rolling. Put it in front to promote more tummy time. You can also just hold them in front of a wall-hung mirror as you make goofy faces at each other.
Food
Consumes about 4-6 ounces of formula or breast milk at each feeding.
Eats 4-6 times per day for 24-32 ounces a day.
Bottle nipple size: Level 2 (based on the Dr. Brown bottles)
Sleep
Typical sleep total per day: 12-16 hours.
4-month-olds will typically take 3-4 naps per day lasting 1-2 hours each.
This 4-5 month range is when 29% of parents started sleep training (26% start it at 5-7 months). Consider a sleep course such as the ultra-popular (and effective in my experience) Taking Cara Babies.
Red Flags
It’s important to note that babies develop at different paces. If you’re not seeing these 4-month-old milestones, reflexes, or patterns with sleep or food then talk to your pediatrician.
Stuff
Toys (with a purpose)
A list of toys recommended by an occupational therapist to help your 4-month-old’s development.
Gear (that you actually need)
Car organizer. You’re going to have more stuff in your car than ever before. Keep it (generally) neat and organized with an organizer with dividers.
Air filter. The air we breathe and the water we drink are two of the most important factors affecting our health as these circulate throughout our body and comprise a large proportion of it. This is even more important for a developing child. If you live in an urban or suburban area, it may be worth getting an air filter. Make sure to get one with a HEPA filter. Heads up, they’re not cheap. After lots of research, the Alen FIT50 Air Purifier was the most inexpensive yet reputable we could find for the room size we wanted. It’s lasted for years without an issue and definitely does its job at clearing up the air.
SpoonfulONE Mix-Ins. It’s recommended to expose your child to the most common allergens as young as 4 months old. We put a small amount of the SpoonfulONE Mix-Ins into their bottles which combine 16 allergens into a mix. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Be aware though, there’s a purposeful but slightly fishing smell. See this Baby Led Weaning article for more info.
Dads
“Kids put life into perspective. Life happens and you get bad news sometimes, or things don’t go your way at work—for me that might mean I lose a game or not play well—but that doesn’t affect my mood from day to day. I love going home and seeing the smiles on my daughters’ faces being happy to see me, and that makes everything all right.”
—Steph Curry
Dad Focus
Finances. The best time to get your finances in order was a long time ago. The second best time is now. At the very least, start with a budget. You don’t have to do this forever but, like tracking your calories, your macros, your steps, stress, or your sleep, it’s a good way to be honest and know the details. After all, what gets measured gets managed.
Next, use the “7 Money Gears” to help determine where you should prioritize your money, including if and when to start a 529 plan for your child. If all of this is too daunting then hire a financial planner but make sure that they are a fee-only fiduciary.
It may go without saying but have an open dialogue with your partner about your finances. It’s one of those things we were never truly taught in school and personal finance tends to be more personal than finance when you get down to it.
Dad Tips
Practice earthing. Strap in because this might sound a little woo woo but start earthing. Earthing is getting your skin (typically bare feet) to the ground (grass, sand, dirt, or rock). One study found that it’s effective in reducing inflammation and improving sleep and another study found that it earthing can help improve heart rate variability (HRV) and reduce stress. Take time to spend 20 minutes barefoot with your kids. Take your kid(s) to a park or your backyard, kick your shoes off, and spend at least 20 minutes here. It’s tougher for me to do this in the winter time so I bought a grounding mat to stand on when I write.
Put your phone in a different room as soon as you come home. Turns out that the average parent’s face-to-face time with the kids per week is 5 hours! When you walk in the door each night (and in the mornings on weekends), put your phone on airplane mode or silent and far away from you. Don’t keep it in your pocket and don’t keep it within viewing distance. Spend face-to-face time with your kids. Don’t worry, you won’t die.
Avoid toxins. Water is to fish as toxins are to humans. Once you become aware of the toxins in your environment you’ll be amazed. Your baby is extremely susceptible to these toxins but, fortunately, there are some easy steps to limit your exposure. See this article for the 8 most common toxins, their effects, and simple strategies to avoid them.
Recommendations
Article:
7 Ways to Bridge the Parent Happiness Gap (Mark's Daily Apple)
The 7 Money Gears (How to Money)
A Pediatrician’s Tips for Getting Through the 4-Month Sleep Regression (Raising Good Parents)
Podcast Episode:
The 7 Money Gears: When, to do What, with Your Money (How to Money)
Book:
The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
Soak up the time with your 4-month-old, celebrate the milestones, and remember that you’ve got it good.
Got any suggestions that worked for you and your baby at this age? Leave them in the comment section.
